Flying South (sorta)

Frederick was the absolute worst flyer in the world. No joke. Every goose in the Washington state would admit that Frederick could not fly period. One of the times that anyone would have voted Frederick being the worst would be his flight right before winter.

        When Frederick was flying (can it even be called that?) to his brother’s nest across the family tree, his wing suddenly collapsed and he fell straight down – right into a puddle of mud. Talk about lousy flying!

        “Oh boy, oh boy! Whadda we have here?” came that irritating voice of Welby. The green-headed goose stuck his head out of a bush and started laughing at Frederick, who was trying to pull himself out of the mud. The poor goose slowly drooped his head and said quietly, “That’s enough, Welby.”

        But of course, he didn’t stop. “Golly! If we took a vote, you would be voted the worst flyer in the world!” Sound familiar?

        “Go away, Welby,” Frederick said, beginning to feel annoyed.

        “That’s my name; don’t wear it out!” came the smart alek reply.

        Frederick now managed to pull himself up and started to wobble out of the mud. His webbed feet left brown tracks. Welby had begun to sing a song, “Frederick can’t fly at all! He is the worst of us all!”

        Yes, Frederick was indeed the worst flyer in the whole Washington state. Even his mother, who just cherished Frederick’s older brother, tried to change the conversation whenever one of her friends started to talk about Frederick. Billy, Frederick’s older brother, play goose ball: a sport that required a smart brain, and strong wings. Goose ball was when the Major Goose, in other words Billy, kicked the ball, and the other five geese tried to catch the ball with their beaks and fly back to the Major Goose without being tagged. Billy, of course, was the star of the sport, and when Frederick had showed up for the Goose ball tryouts, he had failed miserably. It seemed that Frederick could do nothing right. He had no point in life.

        Yeah! You heard me right! The G-Birds! The Geese Birds gang. You haven’t heard of them? Well, I’m not surprised! The G-Bird gang consists of four very odd geese. And that day when they flew into town was the day that Frederick’s life would change.

        “Man, does this look like a good place to catch some grub or what?” Manny said, patting his stomach with his white wing. He suddenly swerved to the right because you can’t pat your stomach while flying. Manny tumbled through the air, and Jabber shouted, “Manny! No! Don’t crash! Not here! Please! We need to get some food, not a hospital bill!”

        “Jabber, will you shut your trap hole?” Downer said pessimistically. Jabber turned her head to face her brother and growled. “Don’t you talk to me like that!”

        Taffy shouted, “Hey! Guys! Come on! Manny needs help!” Taffy, being as long as he was and such a goofy flyer dove down and circled the flailing Manny. Right as he made the loop under Manny, a sudden gust of wind sped through Taffy’s wing and he shot up – right into the leader of the group.

        “Ugh!” Taffy shouted, and Manny glared at him. Both of the geese were falling down, and only Downer and Jabber were still able to help them.

        “Don’t you tell me what to do! I am the older bird here, so you will listen to me!” Downer shouted to Jabber. Jabber started to jabber, but then realized that her friends were tumbling down to the ground. “Hey! Come on! We have to save them!” Jabber shouted, and then plunged to the through the air.

        Downer sighed and thought, “Why do I always have to help everyone here?”

        Jabber caught up with Manny and Taffy and grabbed Taffy with her beak. She yanked up and her jaw got caught in Taffy’s ruffled feathers. “Nah!” she cried, as she noticed that she was now attached to Taffy, who was holding on to Manny.

        Suddenly, there was a big crash and everything stopped. Downer started moaning up in the air, and said, “Oh great! Now look what you did! You made everything a mess! How come you guys always do everything wrong?”

        Manny would usually start arguing with Downer and say, “Man, stop being so negative!” but today he was too exerted with pain to comment, much less breathe; Someone was on top of him.

        “Have we landed yet?” Taffy said, gasping for air. A grunt came from Jabber and suddenly there was a whoosh of air as she pulled her beak out of Taffy’s feathers.

        “Gosh! About time! That really hurt you know. I can’t do this all the time. I mean like –“

        “Please stop talking. I don’t wanna hear you right now, Jabber!” Taffy said, very annoyed.

        “Man, I can’t believe that we look like such goof balls! Man, we are supposed to be cool!” Manny said, but then gasped for air. “Man, get off of me, Taffy!”

        “Oh sorry!”

        Manny felt ten times lighter and then sat up. His feathers were all rumpled, but otherwise he looked ok.

        “Hey! Did you hear that? Did you just hear what I just heard?” Jabber suddenly said in a hushed tone. Every goose froze, not knowing what was making that rustling sound. Then they heard, “Hey! Is everyone ok? That was a pretty hard landing!”

        Frederick stuck his head between two bushes and his eyes grew wide.

        Manny, the leader of cool, suddenly sat up straight and got up on both of his little orange feet. “Man, you’re right. That was some hard landin’.”

        Downer commented, “It’s always us that do things wrong. We can’t fly worth a plate of beans!”

        Manny turned to him, and Downer’s sister, Jabber, perked up, “What is your name?” Wow, that was the shortest saying that Jabber has ever said!

        “Me?” Frederick asked, “I’m Frederick. What happened to you?”

        “Man, we like fell. Man, didn’t you see us?” Manny said very slowly, but yet, coolly.

        “Yeah, but what are you guys doing here? I mean, aren’t you supposed to be flying south for the winter?” Frederick asked.

        “What?” Taffy said, “We were flying south!”

        “Taffy! Ha! You can’t even fly! I don’t know what you are talking about!” Jabber shouted.

        Taffy blushed a deep scarlet.

        “Oh! I get it! You guys are from Canada, right?” Frederick said.

        “Hm? No, we are from Idaho. We are headed towards Mexico, the place we go every winter. Isn’t that right, Manny?” Taffy said. 

        “Well, you have been flying west. I have a compass and a map if you guys need one…” Frederick said, confused. How can a flock of birds be so dimwitted?

        “Man, yeah we need one. Man, guys let’s follow this Freddy guy. I think he can help us.” Manny commented.

        Suddenly, Frederick said, “Oh wait! Um, we can’t! Uh… my tree is under…construction?”

        “Ha! Yeah right! Come on! All we have to do is fly there!” Jabber said quickly.

        “And that is where the problem lies.” Frederick said quietly.

        “What’s the problem? I bet you can fly better than me!” Taffy said.

        “No,” said Frederick, “I was voted the worst flyer in the world.” 

        Suddenly, the G-Birds burst out laughing. “There…is…always…someone…worse…than…you!” Taffy said between laughs.

        Downer remained quiet.

        “Alright, if you insist. But I warn you now, I am the worst flyer in the world!” Frederick said, and then turned around and spread out his white wings. He pushed off from the ground, and shakily rose through the air. Cautiously, he turned his head and his eyes widened.

        The G-Birds were having major troubles just getting off of the ground! Frederick uttered a short laugh, and that was enough to send him flailing to the ground.

        “Uf!” He landed and quickly pulled himself up, and soared through the air once again. Luckily, the G-Birds didn’t notice, because they were finally up in the air and flapping as hard as they possibly could.

        Manny was studying the map. He seemed to know what he was doing. “Man, wait a minute! Canada is north, not south!” Frederick walked over to the map and turned it around. “There.”

        “Oh,” Taffy said, who was also studying the map, but with a quizzical look.

        “So,” Frederick said slowly, “you guys are the G-Birds and your names are Manny, Taffy, Jabber and Sounder?”

        “Downer! Get my name right!” Downer said, in a bored tone.

        “Oh, sorry. Downer. Ok, I think I got everyone.” Frederick said. These birds were so stupid; Frederick thought that they would never reach Mexico, much less the state south of this one!

        Frederick thought about his mother, who never talked about him, and his brother, who rejected him. Did he really have any life here? He would have to stay here in Washington through the winter because he couldn’t fly all the way down to California, where his family was going. He really didn’t want to stay here. Washington is freezing cold in the winter. Was there really another choice?

        “Hey, guys!” Frederick said.

        Manny looked up from the map and said, “ Man, this is too difficult to understand. All of these words and lines means nothing to me!”

        “I am going to go to Mexico with you. “ Frederick said.

        The G-Birds must have been surprised, because they said, “Why?” all at the same time.

        Frederick launched into his woeful past, and then said, “If I went with you guys, then I could be free. My mom wouldn’t make fun of me, and I could actually explore the U.S. What do you say?”

        Manny stared at Frederick and slowly said, “ Man, alright. Let’s see what you can help us with; we need to go south, but we have no clue where south is.”

        “I have a good sense of direction.” Frederick replied.

        “What about your flying skills?” Taffy asked.

        “I see that I can fly a little better than you, Taffy.”